Home sick today
Someone send me asks. Please. Anon or not.
I AM FUCKING SCREAMING BECAUSE THIS IS SERIOUSLY THE BEST THING EVER
You have your mother’s cheek bones
godDAMMIT NOW WE’RE SHIPPING CUTLERY
TUMBLR YOU NEED TO S T O P
I hope this post comes back to me when it has a short story attached.
The Utensils were a happy family, just like any other. Fork was a loving, caring father, who worked at a bank, and Spoon was his beautiful wife, who owned a small business that allowed her to spend a lot of time with their son, Spork. Every day, when Fork came home from work, he gently clinked against the rim of Spoon’s face and asked how her day had been. She would go on and on about how her Aunt Bowl was letting anyone fill her up these days, and telling him he would never guess who they got a phone call from today (it was his brother, Knife), and he would just lean back against the china cabinet, staring at his wife’s beautiful reflective surface, and know everything was right in the world.
One day, however, everything was suddenly not right in the world at all.
Fork woke up in the silverware drawer and instantly knew something was wrong. He looked over to where Spoon normally slept, confused when he saw nothing but empty space. Or, at least, he thought it was empty. It took him a minute to see the small note left there. Oh no. God, no, he thought.
He picked up the note with shaking prongs, and read amid tears:
I’m sorry to leave you like this, but I just couldn’t face seeing you. It’s too painful. I’m not strong enough to tell you this to your face, and I know that makes me a coward. I know that makes me a horrible utensil. But I can’t do this anymore.
Do you remember Cow’s party the other night? The night she was so drunk she swore she jumped over the moon? Well, I met someone that night. His name is Dish. And we’re running away together.
Please, don’t try and find us. Dish makes me happy. He doesn’t spend all day staring at me, looking at himself in my reflection.
Fork collapsed to the ground, wishing he could tell Spoon that the reason he loved staring at her reflective surface so much, was because of the way her surface magnified everything around her, making it seem so much greater and more beautiful than people could see themselves as normally. Her personality did the same thing. It’s what he loved most about her. And what he would miss most of all.
I CAN’T EVEN WITH THIS FUCKING SITE.
sweet jesus i’m crying over cutlery
things like this make me happy i have a tumblrSomeone give this person a fucking Oscar!
I’m starting to love this fucking duck.
For once a meme that actually might be worth something in life
it teaches you everything from how to fucking get rid of shoe stink to how to murder people safely holy shit
Ducking great meme here!
Only the bestie would text me at 2:30am in all caps just to keep me updated. Love her. Even if I did experience a mini heart attack because I couldn’t find my phone.
My summer school teacher told my sister I was cocky
The class is 4 hours of INDEPENDENT STUDY.
God forbid I get TWO tests and a packet done in that time, with no help from her.
So please. Tell me again how I’m cocky because I was doing my own thing and felt ready to take both tests? Which I passed both thank you very much.
Start summer classes today
6 weeks four hours a day of financial lit, the teacher better not be an ass.
Probably one of the funniest shows I’ve indulged in all summer. Tanisha and Nicole are perf. :D
Always going to reblog this, baby girl.
Do my followers care? I want to see if people who do are out there.
You better all fucking reblog this.
I got to reblog this, it’s true
This may be the most important thing I’ve ever had on my blog.
This actually brought me to tears
Due to the high amount of unused URLs on Tumblr, whoever does not reblog this by June 38th, 2910 will be sent into the Hunger Games, and be forced to fight against eachother until the last URL wins.
reblogging because of the source omg
i was like “oh hahahaha why would anyone reblog this? ” THEN I LOOKED AT THE SOURCE
REBLOGGING BECAUSE OF THE SOURCE XD;;
SORRY GUYS NOT TAKING ANY CHANCES!
reblogging because of the source ok
THE SOURCEEEEE !!!!!!!!!
Off your hat to Tumblr staff.
You’re awesome, end of the story
Don’t do this to me tumblr.
I was going to reblog this earlier but I waited so that it could be my 10000th post cos it’s the saddest and most beautiful thing I’ve ever read, absolutely amazing..
so much chills
Really need to talk to Aiden and I can’t get hold of him.
It keeps going directly to voice mail or it rings and rings without end. And one time it said service was unavailable.
I don’t know what’s going on, but I just need to talk to him…